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Im baaa~aack!

This entry is backdated from Monday because we only just got our interwebnets this morning.

Wow! What an adventure that was..Okay lets see...Where to start.

This place is amazing. Its warm, its sunny, its clean, I have everything I need right at my fingertips (such as Target, and Gamestop, and Subway) I've already seen 4 kinds of animals that we dont get in Indy...Geckos are the new pests..if you can even call them that (I already caught one, but his tail broke off when I picked him up) and I've got palm trees out my windows, and everywhere else I look...*sigh* Its just generally good here =3

On the day I left, my parents both came over early in the morning to see me off...I finally cried. My mom started up about 10 minutes before she had to leave for work, which got me crying too...My dad gave me about 5 minutes to stand at the front door with my head against the glass sobbing before he had to get going too...And then he started crying too, which made me just cry harder...I didnt expect either of them to cry over me really. I was honestly a bit suprised.

Not long after that Patrick and Co arrived, and it didnt take long to load the truck at all. Once we were on the road, the first day just seemed to breeze right by. We made it all the way to the end of Kentucky the first day before calling it a night. The hotel was pet friendly so Buggy came in to run around along with everybody else. That was interesting to see. My cat running around a hotel...Things like that just dont look right, lol.

The next morning we gathered up all our stuff and headed on through Georgia. That day seemed to go on for a while...Boring drive, not much to do. After about 2 hours of driving Patrick got in touch with Josh and they discovered that he was driving only about 30 miles ahead of our pack...So he pulled up to a gas station where he was to wait for us so we could carry on as a group...

Then Pat passed the phone to me, at which point Josh asked me to switch cars and ride with him. I wasnt sure at first because I was comfy, and I didnt want to have to load and re-load all my shiz. But in the end I did end up switching and finishing the drive with Josh....God I missed him. The first thing I did before I even said hello was give him a big giant tackle hug. Im so glad he's around again...There need to be more people like Josh in the world.

Anyway, we ended our drive for the evening yesterday when we reached just outside of Orlando. Upon arriving at the hotel, everybody was cranky and annoyed with life...Especially me. And naturally finding out that the hotel Pat's parents booked was NOT pet friendly this time didnt help...I was tired, and all I wanted to do was shower the sweat off myself and go to bed.

Not happening. Josh had plans to cut out and stay with a friend overnight, and I WAS going to stay at the hotel with everyone else but because of not wanting to leave Buggy...I ended up going to Josh's friends house with him to sleep. Halfway through the hour and a half drive to get there Josh discovered his friend is allergic to cats, but he had a screened in porch Buggy could stay in.

I put him out there for the night, even though I didnt want to, but it was so mind numbingly hot in that apartment, that I ended up grabbing a blanket and pillow and slept out there with him instead. I was just happy to be able to be outside without listening to those fucking mexicans, or stare at nothing but trash..So, I was sure to take advantage of my new freedom.

Unfortunately after sleeping for an hour I woke up shivering and had to come back in. I dont think i've slept for more than 4 hours at a time since before I left. So far the effects havent shown themselves yet but im sure they will.

When we were in Kentucky we kept driving past tourist trap signs advertising caves. I made an offhand comment to Patrick while he was driving that I had never seen a cave in real life before. He smirked at me and I didnt know what his problem was, but he ended up picking up his cell phone and asking his mom to take a detour for some fun.

I got to hike through Mammoth Caves. It was so so soooo amazing. Absoloutly gorgeous and completely unlike any experience i've ever had. Some areas were truely terrifying to go through...There were parts of the trail where I had to duck down, and scoot sideways to get through, and both my butt and my chest touched the wall at the same time...Other times we were about 100some feet up on nothing but a dinky metal staircase. We ended up hiking about 2 miles up and down STEEP inclines.

I was so scared in the beginning that my legs tensed...After the first 10 minutes, my legs had just turned to jello, and for the rest of the trip I could hardly keep up....I felt like my knees were going to give out any second so I had to go slow or they would have....When you're on a staircase thats a foot and a half across over an endless black hole, falling isnt the smartest of things to do. The smell down there was amazing....You never really understand what the term "crisp smelling" is actually like until you experience it yourself. It was so clean, and so...GOOD...Imagine what air that's never seen a car, never seen exhaust or trash, or any sort of waste smells like...Its just...indescribable. Its hard to believe that air used to be like that all over the world...Anyway-

Here it is Monday, and my legs still hurt. My thighs ache SO bad...I have to psych myself up for the pain every time I have to get down on the floor for something. As soon as this goes away, Im off to go job hunt. Josh gave me a brief tour last night and my god...there's EVERYTHING here! I cant wait to go explore.

Today we got our apartment, signed the paperwork, and each got a set of keys, and a gate card. We ended up getting a floor level place...My aching legs were glad for that one...More then you know. Ten minutes after arriving I spotted my first lizzard. He was a fast little fucker..Holy crap! He wanted to come in lol. If I ever manage to catch one, he's going to become a pet >3

We went to Target after 95% of the truck was unloaded and the first thing I bought was a fan. For serious. Its been on since the hour I arrived and I have no plans to turn it off any year soon.

And so..after all that, it brings my update to the present. Im the only one who is 99% completely unpacked and set up. I have one more box of computer desk stuff to find places for, then I just have to collapse my empty boxes, hang my pictures and Im done.

Buggy survived the trip without a single solitary incident. Im actually a little shocked..He did better then I ever could've hoped. He didnt yowl, didnt pee on anything, didnt try to run away..He just curled up and chilled, looking out the window...Ocasionally he came up with a few things to say, especially if me and my driver-pal at the time got loud giggling or something, but he always quieted down again after a while.

I have pictures of this entire affair...Didnt get as many from the road as I thought I would since I figure everybody has seen enough trees in their lifetime to know what they look like whizzing by down the highway.

Click the cuts to see moutains, caves, animals, and all kinds of other goodies, including the apartment and my space.

( Mammoth Caves )


( New home )


( odds and ends )

Asking $120 shipped. I can go $100 at the lowest but really want to avoid it if I can. Need to sell it by Friday! Paypal only~ PM me to make a deal? :)

I've decided to make a challenge for myself.

There are less than 2 months left in the year.

I am going to take 1000 photos by the New Years countdown. Pictures of anything. Little to no photoshop correction, and every last one of them has to be worthy of a portfolio. Because thats what I plan to do with them. Make a portfolio.

I average about 30 photos per photoSHOOT...With anywhere from 3-10 being..usable. This is gunna be an adventure.

I would be more than ecstatic if anybody wants to play along with me btw.

I told my mom I quit my job today.

Things are going to be okay. They're going to be better than okay. Im okay...

I Am Legend



Ohhhhh, holy crap on a buscuit. This looks DAMN good. Good, good, GOOD!

Is it sad that the only reason I might not want to see this though is because its painfully obvious his dog is gunna die?

...By the way, I cracked and quit my job today. *sigh*

1. Your Middle Name: Jessica
2. Age: 21
3. Single or Taken: single
4. Favorite Movie: Memoirs of a Geisha, Freedom Writers, Resident Evil
5. Favorite Song or Album: Requiem for a Dream by Clint Mansell and the Chronos Quartet and then Ghost Love Score, and Crimson Tide Deep Blue Sea by Nightwish are songs I seem to go back and listen to much more than any other when I need a fix.
6. Favorite Band/Artist: Nightwish, Three Days Grace, Within Temptation, and Hanson
7. Dirty or Clean: depends...house- clean, sex- dirty
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings: yes
9. Do we know each other outside of LJ?  -irrelevant! s'what I get for starting a copy/paste without reading the damn thing all the way through first...
10. What's your philosophy on life? I dont have one. Just lots and lots of complaints about the world
11. Is the bottle half-full or half-empty? half full
12. Would you keep a secret from a friend if you thought it was in my best interest? yes
13. What is your favorite memory of you and a friend? recently? making Sakhmet laugh while humping her car seat on the way to IL
14. What is your favorite guilty pleasure? eating warm cookies while curled up on the couch with a blanket watching TV with all my essentials like my phone so I wont have to get up for several hours
15. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you: If you tickle me, i'll laugh..its an automatic reaction, but i'll punch you until you bleed the first moment I have the chance. I hate being tickled. Nobody believes me because I laugh, but I will kick. your. ass if you do...mainly because im ticklish everywhere.
16. You can have three wishes (for yourself, so forget all the 'world peace etc' malarkey) - what are they? I want a son or daughter all my own, i want a steady income without having to work, and I want all my mom and I's problems resolved....debt, illness, car trouble...the whole nine yards so we can be friends again before she dies.
17. Can we get together and bake a cake? Another slightly irrelevant question. If I had any friends to bake with, I would LOVE to. My closest friend however is hundreds of miles away past the state lines =D
18. Which country is your spiritual home? Japan...and no its not because Im some wapanese animoo otakuchanchan. Screw the cartoons, Japan just fascinates me.
19. What is your big weakness? hate, loneliness, dissaproval and negativity
20. Do you think I'm a good person? more irrelevance! I think my friends are increddible, amazing, smart people who I look up to and have quite a lot of respect for
21. What was your best/favorite subject at school? <s>lunch</s> Art was always the top of my list..but as for 'real' classes...Reading, and English were always the classes where I could escape the rest of the student body and be happy
22. Describe your accent: ......Did you know that some people dont even realize that they have an accent? Its just magically every OTHER region in the entire world beside their own that talks funny....I dont KNOW what my accent sounds like. I could tell you what a MICHIGAN accent sounds like because Sakhmet is my social guinea pig...But as for me? Iunno.
23. If you could change anything about me, would you? meh. irrelevance again. all the people I know these days are allergic to human contact. no hugs, no kisses, no friendly snuggles or anything. I cant understand that sort of thing no matter how hard I try so...i'd change that I suppose.
24. What do you wear to sleep? Not much =D
25. Trousers or skirts? pants
26. Cigarettes or alcohol? ...neither. but if I HAD to choose...cigarettes.
27. If you only had one day to live, what would we do together? irrelevant wording, yet again. perhaps I shouldve chosen one specifically MADE for strangers to fill out...Oh well..I'd choose to travel...To get in a car and just drive until I keel over dead.

So yeah...I actually put some thought into this. Somebody else take it and do it now so I can read it?

Here's another one:

Respond to this post and I will pick 7 interests from your interest list for you to post an explanation of how and why they got into your interests list.

 Oh my god. If anything could EVER be more...entertaining then what just happened, I dont know what it would be.

There's a busted water pipe out front, so they've been turning the water on and off all day. I just flushed my toilet and a SPRAY, not a trickle, or an overflow...but a SPRAY of water BLEW the top off my toilet, soaked the floor, the ceiling, soaked the whole damn bathroom..and I went running outside with my half finished costume on (which consists of bright blue plaid pajamas, pigtails with cutesy lace ribbons in my hair, and stitches drawn around my neck and flipped out at the workers going "OMGWHATTHEFUCK! WHATSHAPPENING?? IGNORE THE COSTUME HELPHELPHELP!"

Now that its stopped and the bathroom is dripping with leftover water, im hysterical..that must've looked so STUPID! ahaha!

Try to beat my best kick, and tell me how you do!

http://totebo.com/mko.php?c=qBorqsouBouqsorFBoUBoppqotqquoVhNNmHY3NouFru

So...as if things couldnt get any better, I wrote a note to the lady who owns the Cafe at the gym..they're just about to open, and last I heard she was hiring. I left the note on the desk with the rest of the memos for the secretary to hand out to the appropriate people. It said ANGIE across the front, since thats the lady's name.

My boss opened it, and now is asking me if this means im putting in my notice. This pisses me off SO fucking bad. Her name is not ANGIE...Its SARAH. The note was. not. for. her. Great...so now my current boss knows I want to quit, all because she read a note that wasnt for her.

HOW CAN THINGS GET ANY WORSE????? HOW! HOOOOW!!

I've decided that I hate my job with a flaming passion. Its like a punishment job. Its like somebody came up to me and said "YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE! Scrub these floors! And the windows! And the tables! Then polish all the metal, dust EVERY SURFACE! Scrub the showers! Mop the floors...then when you're done with that, take out the trash, fill these bottles and clean these 125 machines! NOW!!"

I keep thinking, that if I can get through it today, I'll live. But its not a punishment..Because I have to go back the next day and do every. single. bit of it all over again. THERE'S NOTHING TO CLEAN!! There is NO dust, NO dirt, and NO clutter..the place is fucking spotless and the clock seems to be ticking backwards.

I've been so miserable lately. Ever since my mom and I had our big huge gigantic screaming match the other day, we havent really spoken to eachother...Any time we have, we just call eachother foul names, curse, yell and hang up again. My cats are at the old house hiding from the landlord...I havent seen them in 4 days. I miss my Buggy SO much...It makes me want to cry...I want him to come home now.

I've got no hot water here at the apartment, and no money for doing laundry...My dad is picking me up after work so we can drive a half hour to his house just so I can wash my work clothes, and take a bath. Its so stupid that we have to go through all that just for a little hot water and laundry detergent. *sigh*

I've been lonely lately...Like...REALLY REALLY depressed...I want to do something for halloween so bad...But I dont have a soul in the world to do anything with. I dont HAVE any friends here...Not one. I have nobody I can talk to that I trust, nobody to give me hugs, or act like they care....I keep putting off updating my journal because I know nobody here gives a flying rats ass about anything I bother to type up. I get so jealous, and bitter towards people on my friends list who fucking SNEEZE and they have like....10 people tripping over themselves to say 'bless you' and offer their moral support. It must be nice. In my last friends cut, I deleted 21 people, and only ONE has taken me off their friends list. So the rest of them....they're either stubborn, or they have no idea that I cut them because they havent checked. So I guess I was right to cut so many....

I have Sakhmet as a friend...a damn good one too..but she lives in Michigan. Katie, my friend at work just moved back to Illinois on Friday...Michael is gone. My mom is a bitch. And I dont trust anyone else within a 50 mile radius of me.

Im still depressed over Michael..I just dont get it. Why would he waste my time like that. Everything was going so well...I cant understand what more he would need to be able to love somebody. I dont think I ever met somebody I liked as much as him. I really really thought I had it right that time. I just dont get it. I cant do any better. Am I just...unlovable? Nobody wants me??

I keep seeing these people on TV....freaks of nature who have husbands. Deformed midgets, women who weigh 800 pounds and cant move, women who are missing entire parts of their body....People who have been arrested for murder, or rape...and people with every mental disorder you can think of...from A to Z....They all have families...And loved ones...Am I just the biggest outcast on the planet? The most unlucky person in the world??

I think there's a point in life where if you dont already HAVE friends left over from childhood, then you're SOL...Because with work, and life, and families....once you get to be past college age, you dont have TIME to go meet people, and build strong trusting bonds...You cant go out to a bar and get drunk every night...There's no time for dating or loving, or learning all about new people....I dont have a single friend in the world right now. Sakhmet doesnt count because I cant go to her when I need a hug..And even if I could, she'd punch me in the nose before I could lay a hand on her. *sigh* ....I want a friend.

The ulcer in my stomach is still there. And it hurts like hell. Its setting my back on fire. Maybe I should just...let it destroy me...stop taking the pills to heal it and just let it kill me or something.

I slept yesterday..I had a whole big GIANT list of things to do and I just...slept...long hard DEEP sleep too..not just that naptime rest to pass the time type sleep. I woke up at 7PM and about had a heart attack because I thought I was late for work.

Im thinking about getting a puppy. I dont. need. another. animal. in my apartment..but maybe the time spent training a puppy, will keep my mind off of life...and it'll be another furry little body in my bed at night to help me fall asleep...and not feel so alone.

It's something to look forward to..when I come home from work and there are faces standing at the door waiting to greet me. Sometimes when I go out, I leave the TV on so I can come home to a lived-in environment.

Ever since that one year Ami came to visit for Christmas, seeing the bathroom light on reminds me of people being here...I dont like to leave that light on. It depresses me when I realize that im all alone. I cant explain the differance between that and the TV..but there is one. Maybe I just get distracted by whatever's on TV and forget about being sad or something...I dunno.

Well...back to work now....*sigh* I dont want to go.....

I think something is wrong. My stomach and back have been hurting way waaaaaaaay WAAAAY more than usual over the past day...I just ate something and now I feel dizzy, my back hurts worse, and I feel like im gunna be sick. I dont think this is going to end well...

Hit me again. I like it.

There's a leak in the hot water pipes here at the apartment complex somewhere. They cant find it. I just got a letter in the mail today, giving me LESS THAN 24 HOURS NOTICE that they'll be coming into every apartment tomorrow to bang on pipes.

I have 2 cats that arent paid for ($200 fine each if I get caught) not to mention their catbox and cat food, and cat toys and cat food that I have to find somewhere to hide. I have dirty laundy, and food, and messes from one end of the place to the other....I dont. want. them. in here. And I am absoloutly livid that I dont even get a whole day's notice before they get to come stomping through.

I just spent 8 hours cleaning up after a bunch of apes at a gym, I dont wanna come home and do more cleaning...Especially when the ulcer in my stomach is acting up, and making my back ache to the point where my hands are shaking.

Oh and btw, I have 10 bills that are unpaid, but if I spend a single cent, then I wont be able to afford my rent. I have to order new checks because my old bank got bought out, and I plain old DONT HAVE THE MONEY.

My next paycheck on the 10th of November is supposed to cover bills...but some of these are already WEEKS past due..Im fucked. Royally. I dont even know where to begin. My debit card is locked up for the next 24 hours while my bank switches services, I have no checks, I have money in my wallet that I absoloutly without a doubt MUST. NOT. SPEND...

Im going to have an army of filthy workers in my apartment tomorrow, at god knows what time...and I wont be home for it. I have cat stuff and laundry to pick up for the rest of the night... I have BRUISES on my heels from standing up all day..and my back aches enough to make me want to scream.

Please for the love of GOD..something. has. to give! PLEASE!

Best soup at the world, must be cooked at 2:30 in the morning for optimal taste:

I can chicken broth
1 and 2/3 cups water
1 spoonful of butter
1 and a half big carrots
3 small celery stalks
half a spoon of minced garlic
basil
pepper
salt
poultry seasoning
2 tablespoons of soy sauce
handful of thin spaghetti

Put butter, water, broth, garlic, veggies, and all seasonings into a pot. Bring to a boil, add spaghetti. Cook until spaghetti is done. Eat.

Today was..BAD....My mom and I had a great night last night talking on the phone while we watched SAW at our respective houses..I was excited that she liked it and was having fun talking on the phone with her about it, chattering like, yanno....friends.

Today was 100% pure. hell. I had a doctor's appointment and it allll started when we were about to leave...(which btw, I have an ulcer from the asprin I've been taking to control my migranes..since its the only option I have left...)

We then fought, and screamed and yelled at the top of our lungs in the middle of parking lots for the rest of the day...I was crying, and screaming...She was screaming, and pounding her fist on things...She hit me, and I hit her back..it was just awful...I flipped out numerous times, and worked myself into quite litterally a murderous rage...staring down random passers by and being all all around loose cannon.

On the way home from the store, my mom and I didnt say a work to eachother. Just fought over the dashboard controls while she drove.

I havent been this hommicidal in quite a while. I warned her that I would fucking punch her if she didnt shut. up...and its a miracle I didnt..because that just made her screech louder.

I was supposed to give her money to help with my rent, but in the end, I withdrew money for myself...told her 'too damn bad' and am just gunna find a way to pay it myself now.

Today was horrid. Absoloutly the worst scenario that possibly could've happened. I'm so sick of fighting with her...I know its never gunna stop..I wish one of us would DIE so it would stop...I cant stand this anymore. Forget it.

Im gunna have to call my dad to ask me to help with some bills too, since my mom went absoloutly batshit insane today and I dont WANT her to help me...I feel so bad for my dad...He had to put up with my mom doing this shit to him..which is part of the reason they split..and now I dont have any other choice but to follow in her footsteps, and go asking him for money...I wish I didnt have to...I dont want my dad and I to end up like he and my mom..or my mom and me....I need him. I need a sane parent. I do...I need somebody...

Comments are disabled so none of you have to strain yourselves trying to leave a comment for me...I did it with YOU in mind...Doesnt that make you happy? <3

SO on top of having some sort of animal in my ceiling scratching around...I also have no hot water, and a drippy noise in the (hallow) support beam right above my head.

Im almost afraid to turn on the heat..Not only will it be 90 degrees the next day if I decide to turn it on...but im afraid that a fireball of dust might explode from it...or set my bed on fire..one'a the two....

Oh misery....*sigh*

YOU take an ice cold shower without laying a finger on the cold water faucet and then lets see how you feel...

I put cinnamon and vanilla extract into my hot chocolate this morning. Its got a very spicy, seasonal taste to it. Very delicous..its the only thing keeping me sane warm right now.

Also, I know nobody gives a shit..so i'll just pretend, but Buggy does this to me...step by step, bit by bit...EVERYTHING except the yanno...baseball bat.

Im in a horrible, depressed, weak, lazy mood. I dont want to go back to work..

Like...ever. Why is it that I hate every single fucking job I ever get. It's killing me...Im so depressed today...I just wish I had the time to sit, and just cry my eyes out...Cry until I fall asleep..but I cant yet...

Michael is gone...Lets just leave it at that...


There is also some sort of wild animal in the ceiling above my bed scratching around. Im guessing its either a raccoon, or a big rat...or maybe a possum..Iunno...Its not BOTHERING me...I just dont trust this building. I already have a hole on the floor in the corner of my apartment where they didnt measure the crown molding right. Im constantly getting bit on the feet by bugs that crawl in...Its gross..

The last thing I need is for a possum to come up through that hole, rape Buggy, and then maul me in my sleep. AINT HAPPENIN FOLKS!

Can somebody with AIM tell me if you can see me online, or IM me...please? I cant figure out what the hell is going on..

I cant see a SINGLE solitary person on my flist online. So...im either the only shut in on the internet right now...or I have a lot less friends then I thought.

My name is mikisbunnyplush. Assistance would be greatly appriciated. Trillian, I hate you...

Silly me..what was I thinking...